I don't know that I have experienced a low grade fear before. Sure, I have felt a swift burst of terror when the car in front of me suddenly brakes, and I jam on mine, hoping that my car will stop in time. And I remember dreading the moment my dad found out about... well, I don't know if he ever found out. I feel anguish when my son wakes up coughing and screaming because he cannot breathe. That happened just last week.
I am going to throw politics aside for a moment. Whether you are pro-life or pro-choice, please feel the low grade rumble in my belly, the chills running down my spine when I can no longer distract myself.
Virginia just passed a law requiring all women who want abortions to undergo an ultrasound. Initially, I was merely irritated-- it is medically unnecessary and expensive (especially since I suspect most insurance will not cover it). It seemed like an annoyance, but oh well. But then I read the details. This is not the cold goop on the belly, rubbed in by the ultrasound wand. The law requires a transvaginal ultrasound. If you won't look at the picture, then know that a tube is inserted into the vagina and moved around to produce a lot of images.
I had one, once. I remember discomfort, and thinking that if felt like a good size dildo was penetrating me. I had mine for diagnostic purposes. My doctor recommended it to me, my insurance approved of the procedure, and I participated in it of my own free will.
Now, women who have chosen to undergo an abortion for any reason will be forced to be vaginally penetrated by this unnecessary procedure... and if they choose NOT to look, they have to sign a waiver. And then they still cannot get the abortion until after a waiting period.
I was outraged, and said so in probably over-emotional and slightly incoherent emails to my state representatives down in Richmond. Still, angry and all, it didn't directly effect me, because I don't have to worry about an unexpected pregnancy, thanks to my trusty Mirena.
But then the House went one further... They passed a Personhood Law. Once sperm meets an egg, that cell is granted full rights as a person. House Bill 1 makes it criminal to harm that 'person'.
Let me give you a rundown on how this makes me a criminal. My IUD prevents implantation. The practical explanation basically is that I don't build up the uterine lining a fertilized egg needs to grow (and I don't get periods! TMI? Sorry). There is also a lot of cervical mucus, which sperm does not like. No problem, right? Well, see, it does NOT prevent me from ovulating. So, in theory, one of my eggs, traveling through an environment utterly hostile to implantation, could potentially meet a sperm.
Do I think this is a form of abortion? No. Do I see this as a healthy alternative to taking BCP? Yes.
Well, the Commonwealth of Virginia says otherwise. "All stages of development" is pretty broad.
So, yeah, I am suddenly a little scared. I took down a Facebook rant about it-- more because I realized I am too angry to have a coherent discussion about it right now. I wanted to write another angry letter to my reps... and then wondered if they will be keeping a list of women who admit to using IUDs like mine. So I kept silent.
And all of a sudden, I was terrified that I thought I ought to keep silent. Low grade fear. If this gets signed into law, will they simply prevent doctors from prescribing new ones? Can a woman go over the border into Maryland, Washington DC, or West Virginia to get one? Or will she be charged upon crossing back to Virginia? Will they go after women who already have one? My Mirena is a 5 year implant, and I just got my new one a few months ago!
Maybe you think I am being melodramatic. It could be. I am an actress, after all. But the fear I feel is real. I joked yesterday about moving to West Virginia. This is like The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. I have never felt like this, as an American citizen. I felt sorry for American Muslims after 9/11, that they had to bear the brunt of so much unfounded and misdirected hostility. I have sympathized with gays for years, because their supposed 'sins' are certainly no worse than the average person's. Likewise, I have been horrified by the news reports of human rights violations so prevalent in many parts of the world. But I don't think I ever really got it. Nothing brought it home. This did.
In anger, I posted on FB, "Virginia, get out of my vagina!"
Now, I think, "head down and shut up."
1 comment:
I have one too. I have a Mirena. So do MILLIONS of women worldwide. It is by far the most common form of birth control in the rest of the civilized world, outside of the US, which still has some leftover paranoia about the horseshoe-crab shaped Dalcon Shield, which had barbs (!!!) to keep it in place. Bad design. My mother had earlier versions of the IUD after I was born in the 70's, different shapes, not the T of the Mirena or Paragard.
One thing to keep in mind: this is very profitable and attacking it is not only attacking our CIVIL LIBERTIES AS HUMAN BEINGS, but also, it's attacking big Pharma, who markets and produces them. They are very popular. This will go to court, it will be ruled unconstitutional. I'm still a Loudoun County VA employee, eleven years and still going. The County's insurance covered it, the one I got in 2006 after I had my son, and the one I got last summer.
Shout it from the rooftops, Heather. It prevents problems like fibroid tumors, heavy bleeding, and all other forms of nasty stuff that happens to pre-menopausal and menopausal women. My mother got anemia in her forties from the god-awful heavy bleeding she suffered. When I watch my 15 year old doubled over with cramps, pumping 600mg of Advil into her body, I wish I could help her, give her the opportunity to get through her high school and college years without this kind of pain and suffering. Not to mention, protecting her from unintended pregnancy. Which is what resulted in her birth. She knows she is loved, and wanted. I was too young, though, and I married her father, which was ultimately not a good choice for me, or for my children. All three of them. It was still my choice to have each and every one of them.
At 39, having another baby would literally break my back. My husband is 51. I need all my strength to work full time and run the household and provide a stable life for the three children that I have.
This won't stand, Heather. It will not. They are doing this to force it to go to the Supreme Court, which it will. They are trying to force them to overturn Roe V Wade. This is not going to happen. Don't be afraid. Be angry. Be as angry as you possibly can. But also be articulate, raise your voice, gather others to do the same. This is going to smack the lawmakers in the face like the Tsunami of INJUSTICE that it is.
Most of the time, I think it's better to fight ignorance with humor. It does not seem like this is one of those situations. Post this publicly. I wasn't even aware that this happened in the Statehouse until I read your post.
~Laura Levesque
Breadwinner. Mother of three. Career Civil Servant of the Commonwealth of Virginia. Victim (not a victim, because I chose to fight back, and not allow myself to be murdered) of Domestic Violence. Harassed endlessly in the Frederick County Virginia Court system by my ex husband. I made that STOP. We can make this stop, too.
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