January Report Card

What have I accomplished in the last month, looking at my 3 Plans...

Plan 1: Okay, I think I am making some progress.

Writing- I have gotten into a routine and am writing pretty regularly... accounting for the freaking snow days. I have signed up for a writing workshop (attending in March). I also met with a nice gentleman who is going to read the first 3 chapters and (hopefully) give me suggestions, and has given me some good ideas about where to go, and what to look at in my work.

Acting- nothing... but I wrote a blog entry about it, kinda spelling out what is going on in my head. I turned down the opportunity to act in a college reunion show, since I had scheduling conflicts and also since I live in freaking Virginia, now. I think, sad as it makes me, this may just have to go on the back burner, in favor of other projects and roles (ha ha) that are further along. Just for now.

Board/ Arts Volunteer- hmmm. I wrote a blog entry about this too. I think I will be taking a LOA until March (at least, once I finish the darn minutes and get them sent off). I think it would do me good. I do need to figure out why I feel compelled to finish out my term, if it makes me miserable. Am I finishing for a good reason, or just so I can tell myself I didn't quit? 'Cause, it kinda seems like to me, that no matter how I protest, I have mentally decided to quit. So, if I am NOT going to do it, then I need to make it happen, and move on...

Art Model- I have a 4 week gig starting tomorrow.... A Tuesday night gig in February.... (smacking head)

Theatre teacher/director- Okay, lots of planning was done this last month! I am excited. I have two classes to teach this spring, and two camps over the summer. Oh, and I have to write a brand new, LoCo based melodrama. The theme will be cows! I cannot wait to share the dialogue... once I write it.

Plan 2: Okay, this one is easy. I have been going to the gym and using the treadmill, twice a week... except last week, when we had the freaking ThunderSnow. However, I think that is okay, since I shoveled approximately seven thousand, four hundred and twenty two pounds of snow. In addition to the visits to the gym, I have been dragging the Boy and the Dog out for walks every day the weather has not been unreasonable. I feel good about counting this one as successful. I have some concerns about February... February being the traditional month for the weather to go to hell in hand basket. Snowpocalypse of 2010, anyone?

Plan 3: Well, I scheduled one recharge break in January. Considering that is up 100% over previous months... I am pleased. Additionally, I took advantage of opportunities to do play dates, freeing me of the Little Prince, so I had time to write. Not precisely what I had planned, but hell, I am reasonably pleased with my progress here.

So. Report Card grade for January 2011? I am gonna give myself a B. Maybe a B-. Excellent progress on Plan 2, good start on Plans 1 and 3, but lots of room to improve.

Yay, me.

A Weird Week, With Vampires

I think I hate winter weather- three snow days this week! It interrupts my writing. I must also hate company... it also interrupts my writing. Life interrupts my writing.

But, I am reading. I have checked out several books from the library. You may wonder, if I have the time to read, why can I not write? Well, I can pick up a book and put it down. I don't have the be in the mood to read. I don't have to have silence, or a computer, no boy jumping on me. You get the picture.

The Enchantment of Lily Dahl blew big time. I kept wondering why I kept reading. I kept hoping it would get better. I kept being irritated at the writing. "Oh, I mention a burp, and a tampon! Oh, I am a serious writer! Let me add an amateurish detail about someone's past! Oh, wow, I am writing." It did make me feel better about my own chances of getting published, lemme tell ya.

I Am Legend was a revelation. This is a good writer and a good storyteller. I love a good story. This book was a collection of short stories, and the title novella. (Will Smith movie, you might remember it.) I can totally see how Stephen King (a darn good storyteller) learned from this writer. Richard Matheson. I will be reading more of his work, and have A Stir of Echoes in my bag right now. I love finding new authors... (not like that Suri Hustvedt who wrote that POS I mentioned. Gees, that author pissed me off with crappy writing... I am ranting.)

Dead Until Dark is the first of the Sookie Stackhouse series-- the books that True Blood is based upon. Nice vampire world storytelling, and not bogged down in the sex (unlike Laurel K. Hamilton, the woman who brought us a 90 paged sex scene that kinda sorta had something to do with the plot? Gawd, really, 90 pages. Cuz, we need to know each and every... sorry, ranting again, and I have learned how to skim her novels anyway.) So, the writing is light, and funny without overdoing it, and the plot skips along without feeling like you are bouncing from Important Scene to Important Scene. I like her characters so far....

The Passage is what I am reading right now. Wow. More of a vampire sci-fi tale so far, but man, can you get caught up in this. He is like a slightly more literary King. By that I mean, he tells a good story, and gets you caught up in the characters and the plot, but he also has a kind of Serious Author feel to him. This books reminds me somewhat of The Stand. I just wish he had a good editor.

Which brings me to my next rant. I come across so many fucking typos in novels!! It makes me a little insane. Now, the translations I read: Carlos Ruis Zafon, Isabel Allende, Arturo Perez Reverte... nary a typo. It makes me crazy to see typos. Laurel K. Hamilton? Typos all over the place. She even changes the spelling of character names in her series! Makes me insane!

Okay. Wow. Quite a bit of ranting going on. Lots of insanity. Maybe I need to put down the vampire books. Cuz, I just realized that the three books I mention... all have vampires. Gonna go suck down an iron pill.

Oh, and I don't recommend The Enchantment of Lily Dahl. No vampires.

Short Story and Targeted Peer Review

This will be a short post. I have company coming tonight, and if I am free early enough, I would like to do some actual writing, instead of writing about writing.

I had a great meeting last week with a guy who coaches writers, and edits, and teaches writing classes. I got many good ideas out of that meeting, but the one that has resulted in an epiphany for me is the idea of submitting a short story excerpt for publication. This would give me feedback on the world I have created (and my writing), which will help when I jump into the mess of trying to publish.

I have been thinking and thinking about some part of my book to try to pull out, and let stand on its own feet. I was even contemplating bugging the Rhino, my sounding board guy... and then I figured it out. The through-line for this story is the conflict between Elena and General Madera, which begins because of Paulson, and the Chihuahua rebellion. I know what happened, and I have revealed parts of it as particular characters learn more about it. THIS IS IT!!

So, after I finish the conclusion of this novel, I get to write a prologue, of sorts. The real story of the Chihuahuan rebellion, and what really happened between Elena and Paulson. This will work all on its own, it will sell the world I have created, and it will force me to tie up all that loose information that has been floating across TWO novels...

I am not even a little bit excited about this, yup, not at all.... (jumping up and down like a crazy woman)

For those of you who don't know what the hell I am talking about, well, let me know, and I will send you the whole damn work in a few weeks. Cuz, that is the next thing I was advised to do. Another round of peer reviews, but a targeted one. As in "Do the male characters seem realistic to you?" and several other questions. I have already done one round of peer reviews, but I need more... Volunteers?

I love writing right now. (big goofy sigh)

I took off my pants in middle of the Museum today

I have been miserably cold this winter. As in, I keep sneaking upstairs and upping the thermostat. And wearing layers. Lots and lots of layers.

Today, the Boy decided that we definitely needed to go the museum today. So, although I cannot beat this #&%$@!! head cold, I thought, hey, it is indoors. I could get some walking in, and he'd be entertained. All good.

I wore my new navy blue sweater dress. With a long sleeved t-shirt underneath. And skinny jeans. With blue tights underneath the jeans. Nice and cozy and warm, and very very cute.

We got there. The Boy was in heaven. And I was uncomfortable. At first, I thought, I am just tired. The cold is kicking my ass, and I have been up late writing too many nights. I came realize that I was not cozy warm anymore. I was pretty darn warm.

I lasted until we finished with the space hanger. We went to the restroom on the second floor. The Boy is such a big boy, he wanted his own stall, and didn't need help. Yippee. I wriggled the t-shirt out from under the sweater. I thought, wow, much better! We continued the adventure.

And I realized that I was still very warm. Like... too warm. By this time we were far away from the restrooms, almost at the spiral staircase. I thought, hell, you have tights on, just slip the jeans off. I looked around, and realized that, although no one was near us, we were on the second floor catwalk, and all eight people there would not only get to see the Concorde, but France as well... much more than they had been expecting. So, okay... wait for the elevator... the glass elevator. Never mind...

We got to the ground level. As I considered taking the Boy all the way back to the restroom, he announced that he needed a break. We sat in the chairs by the bright yellow helicopter. I looked around. No one was in sight. I stood up, reached up under my cute navy sweater dress, and started yanking my jeans down.

I had them safely stowed in the bottom of the stroller before we saw anyone.

Later, I wondered about the security cameras. Surely they exist. And, even more belatedly, I wondered why the hell I didn't just take the sweater dress off.

Oh. And check this out. Guffaw.

On the other hat

So, one of my many hats is theatre teacher. I am a certified teacher in secondary theatre and speech. I taught for 3 years at a high school in Texas, before leaving to go pursue my acting career (and fleeing my psychotic coworker in the theatre department). I did a national tour with a very respectable theatre company, and did television extra work, and got a start on my Actors Equity membership. Once I arrived here in Virginia, I substitute taught while applying for teaching jobs. I did an interview. Unfortunately, I laughed when they told me the theatre budget. I thought they were joking. They weren't.

Now, I teach theatre classes at an arts center, with the parks and recreation system. I built an amazing program starting in 2002, until the birth of the Boy. I took a few years off from teaching... and the program died. It kinda made me feel like a failure-- a program that cannot survive without its creator is a personality driven program, in my book. Oh well. I did go back, and have built it again. The scale is much smaller, and so are the number of hours I teach. Before the Boy, I would teach 8 courses over the three month session. Now, I teach one or two only.

Childcare is expensive.

Plus, I am doing lots of other things too, remember... like writing a book, acting part-time, art modeling, volunteering, and doing that whole wife/mother thing...

Anyway, I have a great summer planned. A high school melodrama class, and a touring class for elementary and middle school kids. I mention it now because I have to have all the promotional materials done long before summer... like this week. No problem? Yeah. I am good.

And I love to teach. I particularly love not teaching in the school system. I like that the kids who show up get so much more than playing theatre games and learning tongue twisters. We do the fun stuff, and then we do the real stuff-- rehearsing and performing a show. Some of my classes are more advanced than others. My touring class, if I may be permitted to brag, is fucking awesome. I rehearse the kids for 2 weeks, we perform a few times, and then hit the road. They learn load in, adapting to different spaces, load out, traveling. And they are pros by the end.

Yeah. I love this gig. I love teaching kids theatre. I have an awesome boss-- the BEST boss in the whole world. He supports me. I would not be able to be as successful as I am without him behind me. I am lucky. I am thankful. I better stop procrastinating and finish the stuff I owe him.

On the other hat (the writer one), today, I wrote down lots of notes about the scenes I have to write. I am excited to start tomorrow... and glad I took the time to write down my ideas for once. True, I remember many... but I know I have lost more than a few.

OH! And Plan 2 news! I have developed a routine! Twice a week, I am going with a girlfriend/neighbor to the rec center. The walking is going nicely, and my knee didn't stiffen up much tonight at all! Woohoo! On the downside, all this crappy 'wintery precipitation' the last few days has meant that I have not really been able to go out and walk the Dog. But, I am sticking to the Plan!

(And I really enjoyed the Plan 3 event on Sunday. Boy and Husband went to the Natural History Museum... and I stayed home and wrote!)

Writing and Sick

I didn't write today.

I did write for hours on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. It made me happy! It also created this weird alternate state of being, in which I kinda blinked when reality intruded.... like eating, or letting the dog out, or speaking to the Husband or the Boy. I may have been in the room with them, but I really was in the 30th year after the Apocalypse, somewhere in present day Kansas.

I stopped writing at a really exciting place yesterday. I am about to write a new scene into the first book, one that will finally create the climax I've been missing since I split the original work into two. I had to do some reading (and rereading) to find my zone (where I can effortlessly write that world instead of struggle to write the world), but I did, and got myself set up!

So, why did I stop? Well, I had to eat, and interact with the Husband and Boy... but mostly, because I knew what happened next. I had written my "one true sentence" and therefore could stop. (I am a devotee of Hemingway. Sorry.)

But today? I am sick. The scene is simmering, which is a great place for it to be, but it will have to simmer for at least another 24 hours... and maybe until Wednesday morning.

Boards and Zombies

So, I am an arts volunteer. I also serve on a board. I do a lot of work. I attend lots of meetings. I write and review grants for arts organizations. I read and answer (and ignore) lots of emails regarding the arts. Hell, I have even lobbied for the arts. I feel good for volunteering in my community, and for putting my skills and knowledge to good use. After all, we have no souls without the arts.

See, that explains a lot about me. I believe that without the arts, we are just mindless zombies. And, for those of you who think the arts are just opera and indecipherable paintings... think about your day.

Listen to the radio? The music you listen to is art. Oh, you only listen to the news? Well, who the &#$@ do you think creates the background music, or designs the ads that PAY for the news? Artists. Who reads the news? People whose voice IS their art.

Oh, so you don't listen to the radio? Watch television or films? Art! Read magazines? Books? Oh, don't waste time with that stuff? Well, do you think the guys who designed your computer were only thinking function? They were also thinking about making something that you might actually want to look at when it was not on.

Anyway... I could go on and on... and I think kinda just did.

This rant is to remind myself why I keep working on it. I am an artist. I support artists. I have to remind myself that what I am doing is worthy of my efforts. And I have to remind myself that the show must go on.

I begin to wonder, however... perhaps the show will go on without me.

I have been serving for almost six years on this arts council. I am tired. There has been so much change. There has been unpleasantness. It hasn't always been fun. My term on the board ends in October... and I want to finish it. The end is in sight.

But, will I crawl back under my log at that point? I didn't grow up with volunteerism. As I am a lapsed Catholic, the guilt to give to others, to be selfless, is strong. This is my service.

However, this is the year of deciding what I am NOT gonna do, remember? Do I finish my term, and call it even? Do I continue volunteering in the arts community, or allow myself to get shangai'ed into another board? This weighs on me.

I have decisions to make. If I am only doing this for duty, then I have become a zombie in spite of myself. And, just now, as I write this and postpone doing some arts volunteer related work, I kinda feel like this. Both the zombie... and the poor bloke running from the zombie.

So, this zombie sadly signs off, to go eat some brains... the brains being my own. Sigh.

(wah wah wah, poor little whiney-butt)

writing

This will be a really short one. I have been reviewing chapter after chapter of the book. It is fun to get lost in the world again. Fun to rediscover things. Fun to read things that were added later on, and not recognize them.

I have figured out a really important scene to add, and how to resolve better the end of this book-- remember that I had cut the original work into two. I am excited to write it. I just wanted to leap in and start writing it today... but I knew I had to find the thread of this world again.

I enjoyed the 'snow day' today with the Boy... but darn if I didn't think "Dang, now I won't be able to write this morning"...

Attention has been paid, and I am getting work done... yay, me.

Walking and Theatre

Well, today was the first day on the treadmill. As expected, my right knee stiffened up. But, I took it easy, and don't see that doing this is gonna be a problem. I have been really good the past week and a half about at least getting out with the Boy and the Dog, so I should be on track for good walking soon. I have missed walking. The weather has been a bitch in the last few months, but using the gym at the local rec center seems to be a good solution. When the weather warms, and the days are longer, I can get back into the neighborhood, and hit the trail again. Yippee. (Plan 2, going well!!)

Now, theatre. I have been fortunate for the last several years, to be part of a traveling murder mystery theatre company. There were 5 or 6 shows in repertory. A client would book the show, the producer, Laurie Dunlap would then book the necessary actors. We would show up 2 hours before the show, load in, do the show, load out, get a check, and drive home. This was the perfect gig for me- a stay at home mum who really didn't feel able to take off long periods of time for rehearsals, etc. Not lazy, just focused on the Boy.

Well, the perfect gig died. Rather, Laurie contracted a horrible blood cancer, and passed away in less than 6 months. There was confusion, I guess, about how to keep the company alive, and it is gone. I valued this gig-- it kept my skills up, it got me out of the house, I got paid, and I enjoyed almost all of the company members. And, most importantly, it allowed me to continue being a working actor.

Last gig was in August. I miss it. I have grieved. I am trying to figure out if I want to get back into it all-- headshots, auditions, driving forever... I love acting. I love auditioning. But it was so nice, so convenient, not having to do all the looking for a job.

A friend (who does audition, and drives forever, and gets paid) has been encouraging me to get out and just do it again. Get a new headshot done, update the resume, and at least do the local cattle call auditions. He actually has a gig in mind for me. (I wish HE was the casting director!!) If only I could just go audition for it.... But in this area, you cannot just go audition for a show. No, no, you have to be invited to audition... and in order to get that invite, you have to be seen...

It all makes me wonder... am I really wanting to be a working actor? I have lots of excuses and reasons why not. I am clearly not ready to just throw in the towel, and STOP acting. I need to either do the work: get a headshot done, update the resume, and get to the cattle call... or I just need to let it go for now.

Not deciding tonight. There are other factors to consider in the equation--an invitation to join a similar company that is forming; and a long-simmering idea of forming my own theatre company.

But enough for now. I am currently an out-of-work actor. It sucks. But at least I am walking again.

Elevator Speech

So, I have attended several talks given by David Hazard. (OMG, look what I just did, I did a link!!!)

...

So, I have attended several talks given by David Hazard. Besides being a damn good motivator, he also gives you lots of ideas about what to do with your work. One of his suggestions, when you are trying to get someone to pay attention to your novel/book/article/etc, is to have an elevator speech ready. Think of it this way: you get into an elevator with the publisher of your dreams, and you've got 'til the tenth floor to sell your book!

I have a meeting with David next week. It was supposed to be this week, but... well, he and I agreed that it is a post-modern short story, how we kept NOT meeting this week. Anyway, I have been working on my elevator speech. Tell me what you think. Whether you have read my novel(s) or not, I am interested to hear your thoughts. And if it sucks, has bad verb tenses, or whatever, just tell me. Only my friends are reading this... so far.

Elevator Speech for The General’s Heir- Book 1

Thirty years after the apocalypse, the rulers of two rival territories agree to become allies, and propose to seal the treaty with a possible marriage between their children. Fleeing from her father’s expectations and rule, Elena Madera is charmed by Grant Stone, and enters willingly into an arranged marriage in a foreign land. However, the cultural differences between the two territories become increasingly apparent as Elena struggles to win the leadership roles for which she was groomed, and she builds a dangerous alliance with the mysterious Chief of Information, Scott Walters. Using diplomacy, intrigue, and a few threats, Elena manages to succeed, and questions only one action she has taken: did she choose a worthy mate?

...I await your input.

A blog? (the obligatory boring introduction)

Confession: I have no idea how to keep or maintain a blog. I follow a few blogs, mostly friends who are more interesting than Facebook would have you believe. I do not know how to design. Or what Html means. I am not certain at this point if I know how to post a link, or a picture. Do I think my blog looks pretty BORING right now? (yup.)

HOWEVER. I am going on a journey this year. I have three GOALS. I say goals, rather than New Year's Resolutions, because... well, I am not sure why, but GOAL seems more weighty.

(oh, crap, I just tried to cut and paste into this, and it scared me. I will just retype it...)

Plan for 2011

1. Figure out what you are NOT going to do, make it happen, and move on.

2. Walk three times a week.

3. Schedule two recharge breaks a month.

(hey, I figured it out... sorta. I had to fiddle around with the document... yeah, I typed out my New Year's PLAN... because it is a PLAN and not GOALS apparently.)

The second is fairly standard, I am sure. Get in shape, blah blah blah. The third needs no explanation save that I have a 4 year old. An approximate translation could read: introduce the concept of Daddy/Boy dates on the weekends...

I am sure you noticed that the first one is stated negatively. There is a reason for that. I am an actor. I am a teacher. A writer, a director, art model, wife, board member, friend, daughter, arts volunteer, oh... and a stay-at-home mother. Whatever that means.

And I am 35. I am noticing the signs of aging. Worried? Not really. As a non-ingenue look in the field of acting, I welcome finally looking old enough to play the good roles that are now available... except I am not pursuing my acting. I am not really pursuing anything. I am 35, and I am trying to do so many things that I am doing none of them really well. Except motherhood. And that ain't gonna last.

(oh for the love of pete... I have this $@#&% margin floating around, and I cannot figure it out!!!)

Why add another project to the mess? I am figuring out what I am NOT gonna do, remember? I am on a journey in 2011 to figure out which of those roles I am going to jettison. (SPOILER ALERT: I will not be dropping off the Boy at the orphanage, or divorcing my husband.) I see this as a place to journal, a place to jump up and down, a place to vomit, a place to celebrate, a place to collaborate, and maybe, a place to make my decisions final.

So, why read this? The journey might be interesting. Oh, and I am kind of funny, and irreverent. Sometimes people don't get my sense of humor. I can post it, and laugh about it... to the sounds of chirping, and it won't freaking matter, since I have NO idea how to promote this, other than inviting friends to read, which I won't, since I hate promoting myself... which is also a reason I have a slow acting career. I think I mentioned that.

I may also be posting writing samples. I wrote a novel... well, actually, two. It will be a small series, eventually. If I can finish editing and begin attempts at publishing.

All done with my first blog post. If anyone can give me some *@&$# pointers on format, I will cheerfully accept them.