Be Careful What You Wish For

So, with a month from the end of this year, I have been thinking about my 2012 Goals. Take a look at them here.   Here's where we stand...

1. Book Deal: not yet (but read on)
2. New car: very likely (read on, I told you...)
3. Skyfall: OH. YES. (wiping drool off chin)
4. Exercise: not every day, but most days, and I've lost weight this year.
5. Spine: Stronger, maybe mild scoliosis (figuratively, new readers)
6. Dates: we've been pretty good, actually, in the latter half of this year.  Nights out are happening!
7. No apologies:  kinda like the spine--that is a work in progress.  Apologizing is part of me, but I am starting to accept who I am, and forcing others to when I am right.
8. Writing: well, that one has been a weird one.  I was writing every day for 2+ hours in the spring.  Got shot to shit during the summer (move, summer class, grandmother's funeral).  Fall started okay, but the Boy is in afternoon kindergarten, which is making it more challenging to actually get my writing time in.  Plus, the current home's desk set up is less than inviting.  I may start doing more on the laptop (shudder).

So, that is where I am.  Pretty good.  Now... about that book deal.  I finished Book 1: "The General's Heir", and passed it along to peer readers.  Got some great feedback... and decided that I had to rewrite the whole thing.  I needed to focus on my heroine.  So, rewrote the book into first person.  She's telling her story.  I expanded scenes, trimmed others, and finally told the story of what happened in Tejhaus before and after the rebellion, and how she came to decide to go to Stone Country.  The book is so much stronger.

I finished the rewrites at the end of August, and then started editing.  I finished the week of Thanksgiving, and promptly emailed David Hazard for a recommendation for a professional editor: I am funny with hyphens and ellipses...as my regular readers (ha!) know.  We set up a meeting to discuss finally working together (since I have money coming from my grandmother).

And then Wednesday struck.  I had a car accident.  My lovely little Honda Civic has been a loyal member of my family, but she's on life support, and her age ain't making it look good.  A 1997 coupe with 170K miles... if they don't declare it totaled, it will be a miracle.  I love that car.  It was the first car I picked out and bought.  She was overpriced, and used.  But I paid her off slowly (with the Husband paying as well after we got married), and she's been faithful and dependable.

So, yesterday, instead of focusing on the fact that my body had had a shock, and I needed to just read, I spent most of the day beating myself up for the accident.  Sure, I wanted a new car, but not til the money was there.  She was supposed to outlast the Saturn.  I went from quiet mourning to anger and back.

And then, late last night, I remembered my 2012 Goals.  I really had met some of them.  Maybe...just maybe, the stars are aligned, and I will meet the first goal.  On Monday, I plunge into revising my query letter and creating my spreadsheet for literary agents to hit.  When the editing is done, I am unstoppable.

I will it to be so.

A Writer's Contract

I just spent four days at a writing workshop.  I have lauded David Hazard before, but I am gonna do it again.  It was amazing, and I learned so much, and this is the SECOND time I took it!  If you write, or think you might have a story to tell, go look him up.

There is a lot to talk about, but I am only going to address the Writer's Contract right now.

If I am going to acquire Space to Write...
WHERE:  at the desk
WHAT needs to be kept out of that space:  the email, the phone, the bills, non-writing work
WHO are the potential intrusions:  the family, the dog, work and volunteer associates  (I can avoid them all by just not answering the phone!)
WHEN will I write?:

• Primary time- Monday-Fridays, while the Boy is at school (8:45-11:15), as soon as I walk the dog.
• Secondary time- After Dean goes to bed.  If I CANNOT do the primary for whatever reason (meetings, doctor's appointments, etc.), I WILL use this time, even if it only for an hour or so.
• How I will make this happen:  I will get up at 5AM (when the Husband leaves) to do the other stuff:  the email, blogging, work and volunteer stuff, even the bills.  I will do this upstairs on the laptop, and put all the applicable materials in one binder with pockets, along with my thumb drive, so it is all contained and cannot take over.  So, I will have that stuff done before the Boy even wakes up, wanting to have his Mummy Cuddle Time.

WHAT are my objectives for my Writing Time?:

• Sunday evenings/Monday mornings, I will set the objectives for the week.  One of my goals for today, for example, is to create a task list based on my to-be-completed storyboard, with the end of May being my deadline.
• Minimum-- is there research I can do?  Writing prompts I can create or find?  Storyboard tweaking?
• Medium-- Am I working on incidents and scenes?  Am I expanding or focusing on characters?
• Maximum-- Did I meet all the goals and then some?  Am I moving forward?

It doesn't look much like a contract, but it has solidified some things for me. I felt a lot of pressure, because I had no time allotted for the non-writing stuff, but I still needed to do it!  It would make it tough for me to get into my zone...And the evening is becoming less of a productive time for me.  Getting old, I guess!


Now, how is this morning thing working out?  Ha!  I am bleary eyed, and every third word contains a typo.  My sense of humor is still in bed, apparently.  However, I have just checked off the second item from my early morning Task List. Tomorrow's task list will include coffee...

The beginning of a beautiful relationship

     Let's talk, 2012.  See, I made an arrangement with 2011.  I told 2011 what I wanted, and I thought 2011 and I would have a nice time together.  I didn't realize that my expectations, while communicated clearly, were not clear expectations.  It was a "Hey, let's have a nice date" versus "Hey, I want a fancy dinner with good wine, and then a movie with Daniel Craig or Hugh Jackman."
      I realize that this is a failure on my part.  I didn't specify what it was that I actually wanted.  This should not be a surprise to me... what with the whole "Not Doing It" being the name of the blog.  2011 could not read my mind.  How could 2011 know what I wanted if I wasn't even able to communicate that to myself?  And yet... did I not mock 2011 on Facebook? I did, I am sorry to say.  No one deserves that, especially when it is my fault.
     So, 2012, I am going to try to communicate my clear expectations.  I want you to know what will make me happy.  Some of the items on my list may strike you as unrealistic, or silly, but if you know, at least you might have a better idea of the kind of thing that might make me happy.

What I Want Out Of 2012

1. A book deal.  It doesn't have to be Stephanie Meyers size... but I would love at least to be able to buy a new car, which leads me to...
2. A new car.  Both of the cars in my household are almost three times as old as my son.  And he's about to start kindergarten.
3. To see the new James Bond film in the movie theater.
4. To make exercise part of almost every day-- strength training, walking, hitting balls at the driving range... whatever it takes.  Finishing 2011 with physical therapy kinda blew.
5. A spine.  I rarely speak up for myself, and when I do, I inevitably cave.  
6. A date, once a month, when I go out, looking lovely, wearing a pair of killer heels, and forget that I am the mother of a 5 year old.  Don't care if it is with my girlfriends, or a big group of people, or just me and a lucky guy.
7. To stop apologizing for who I am.  It is one thing to apologize for a specific action, something I said or did.  It is  a whole other thing to apologize for not being the way that someone else wants me to be, or for not thinking what someone else wants me to think.  I am valid, and so is my point of view.
8. To write five days a week.

     So, 2012.  How does that sound?  I hope I have given you a much better idea of my expectations than I did 2011.  I suspect 2011 might have actually been less of a disappointment if I had been as clear with him as I am being with you.  Let's work on it, shall we?

Hugs and kisses,

Zombie Grrrl