Be Careful What You Wish For

So, with a month from the end of this year, I have been thinking about my 2012 Goals. Take a look at them here.   Here's where we stand...

1. Book Deal: not yet (but read on)
2. New car: very likely (read on, I told you...)
3. Skyfall: OH. YES. (wiping drool off chin)
4. Exercise: not every day, but most days, and I've lost weight this year.
5. Spine: Stronger, maybe mild scoliosis (figuratively, new readers)
6. Dates: we've been pretty good, actually, in the latter half of this year.  Nights out are happening!
7. No apologies:  kinda like the spine--that is a work in progress.  Apologizing is part of me, but I am starting to accept who I am, and forcing others to when I am right.
8. Writing: well, that one has been a weird one.  I was writing every day for 2+ hours in the spring.  Got shot to shit during the summer (move, summer class, grandmother's funeral).  Fall started okay, but the Boy is in afternoon kindergarten, which is making it more challenging to actually get my writing time in.  Plus, the current home's desk set up is less than inviting.  I may start doing more on the laptop (shudder).

So, that is where I am.  Pretty good.  Now... about that book deal.  I finished Book 1: "The General's Heir", and passed it along to peer readers.  Got some great feedback... and decided that I had to rewrite the whole thing.  I needed to focus on my heroine.  So, rewrote the book into first person.  She's telling her story.  I expanded scenes, trimmed others, and finally told the story of what happened in Tejhaus before and after the rebellion, and how she came to decide to go to Stone Country.  The book is so much stronger.

I finished the rewrites at the end of August, and then started editing.  I finished the week of Thanksgiving, and promptly emailed David Hazard for a recommendation for a professional editor: I am funny with hyphens and ellipses...as my regular readers (ha!) know.  We set up a meeting to discuss finally working together (since I have money coming from my grandmother).

And then Wednesday struck.  I had a car accident.  My lovely little Honda Civic has been a loyal member of my family, but she's on life support, and her age ain't making it look good.  A 1997 coupe with 170K miles... if they don't declare it totaled, it will be a miracle.  I love that car.  It was the first car I picked out and bought.  She was overpriced, and used.  But I paid her off slowly (with the Husband paying as well after we got married), and she's been faithful and dependable.

So, yesterday, instead of focusing on the fact that my body had had a shock, and I needed to just read, I spent most of the day beating myself up for the accident.  Sure, I wanted a new car, but not til the money was there.  She was supposed to outlast the Saturn.  I went from quiet mourning to anger and back.

And then, late last night, I remembered my 2012 Goals.  I really had met some of them.  Maybe...just maybe, the stars are aligned, and I will meet the first goal.  On Monday, I plunge into revising my query letter and creating my spreadsheet for literary agents to hit.  When the editing is done, I am unstoppable.

I will it to be so.

Stress

I am stressed.  I need to learn to let things go.  Seriously.  I am cranky, and unable to sleep, and don't enjoy my meals.  I enjoy my wine, but that could also be the company.  I am daydreaming constantly, and reading to escape.

Supposedly, writing a list of stress factors can help bring them to manageable proportions.  Here is my list of things that are stressing me out.  I hope that writing them down will set them loose into the internet, where they can spawn and create a worm that will infect the very lifeblood of Monsanto.

1. Sleep-- I am not sleeping well, and taking lots of pills to try to make sure I am sleeping.  I am not sure the pills are getting me good sleep, but they do make me sleep....if I've taken enough of them.
2. Medical-- I had an ER visit recently.  I had some chest pains-- probably not heart related.  I have a stress test soon, and my regular GP put me on anti-heartburn medication.  In addition, I need to get to the eye doctor (18 months since last visit).  The Husband probably needs some dental work done.  My son's belly is still distended, and it should have healed by now.  And we keep having minor medical expenses to the tune of $200-$500-- they add up.
3. Move-- I am moving in about 60 days.  Have not packed a single damn box.  Why?  Well, I didn't want to live with a bunch of boxes, thinking a normal looking household would be a better choice for living.  Yeah, it looks pretty, but it also stresses me out...all those empty boxes, just waiting to be filled.  "Fill me!"  On top of that, the house we are in is about to be on the market for rent... which means I have to have the house nice for that.
4. Money-- I have no right to be stressed about it, I guess.  There are people in this country who are un- and under-employed.  People are buried in underwater mortgages, credit card debt, student loans, and no savings.  We have no debt, are downsizing, and have a decent sum in savings.  But we used to have LOTS more in savings.  We have two cars which are 15 years old, and groceries are more expensive than ever.  A lot of my clothes are old (ie, don't fit, have little or big holes, etc) and then there is the medical stuff.  So, I am stressed about it.
5. IRS-- We just got a letter from the IRS, claiming that we owe like $8K in unpaid taxes and penalties.  We were sensible in 2010 and finally rolled all our various retirement accounts into a single account.  One of the rollovers was reported as taxable income to the IRS... so it looks like we got a huge sum of money.  And we didn't.  I understand it is all a matter of filling out the forms and such, but FUCK... You get a letter from the IRS demanding more than I have earned in any year since my son was born, and tell me that your heart isn't leaping out of your chest.
6. Book-- good god, I want to finish my book.  If I can edit 15 pages or so a week, I will finish by the time school ends.  But after that, I will get NO regular writing time until September.  Unless I can manage to begin writing at night again.  I just don't know how, especially with a move looming, and a summer camp planned in July.  I really want to finish-- I know it can be published, and will be good.  
7. Volunteer-- I am still active in the community, but it is hard work, and I am not enthusiastic about it right now.  I really should make this my last time... but then what am I doing for the community?  And what else do I have to show for myself in this time.  Everyone says motherhood is noble/ necessary/ etc.  But no one PAYS you for it, and potential employers look down their noses at it.  And I have to do something until the Boy is in school full time... unless my book sells.
8. App-- The phone app is fun to work on.  But it is work.  And it is unpaid work for now, and maybe forever, unless we can increase sales.  So, all that writing and entering is free.  And after the move, I will no longer be able to just walk two houses down to work with my partner.  I will have to drive across town.  
9. Work-- My theatre class is not stressing me exactly, but there is a lot of work to do that requires me to focus and be creative... and I can neither well until I can let stuff go. 
10. Politics-- The War on Women, the attack on the environment, the economy... I actually have to make myself STOP reading the news sometimes, or logging on to Faceborg.  I try to have a wide variety of friends- they range from libertarians to socialists, radical feminist lesbians to religious conservatives.  It used to be nice, because I would be exposed to a lot of different ideas and perspectives.  Food for thought, ya know?  Now... I just get scared.  The hate and anger and fear have reached terrifying levels.  Where are all the moderates?  Running scared, just like me.

So, there they are.  All my stress factors.  Not a terrible list, I guess.  I mean, I didn't actually HAVE  heart attack, did I?  I don't have to get a transvaginal probe, and the IRS issue will be resolved without having to write a check for $8K.

But I am still stressed.

2011: A Year in Review

..." I see this as a place to journal, a place to jump up and down, a place to vomit, a place to celebrate, a place to collaborate, and maybe, a place to make my decisions final."

Here I am, almost a year later.  The quote above is from my very first blog post.  I would say, based on that quote, that I was very successful...except that the blog was supposed to be about my three goals for 2011...

Plan for 2011

1. Figure out what you are NOT going to do, make it happen, and move on.

2. Walk three times a week.

3. Schedule two recharge breaks a month.

Anyway.  Plan 1... I figured out a lot of things... Meaning, I quit a number of things.  Arts council...  gone!  Acting... retired, mostly.  Art model... not pursuing it.  Teaching... winding down.  Volunteer... still going, but will be finished in June.  Writing?

That is what I decided I AM going to do.  Write.  I love it, and I am good at it.  I spent the last of my mad money to attend a hardcore writing workshop (4 days, all day).  I wrote and submitted a play for a playwrighting competition.  I have worked hard for most of the year, and have revised "The General's Heir" into a much tighter and stronger novel.  I not only finished it (mostly), but have three new readers in the process now of giving me feedback.  There is small stuff to fix, but they are easy fixes.  Additionally, I wrote my query letter, and sent it out to six literary agents.  Two asked to see my work, and ultimately passed, two sent form rejections, one sent a personally worded rejection, and I am waiting to hear back from the sixth.  Finally, I have begun to work with David Hazard, an amazing writing coach, who believes I have talent, and is pushing me in directions I need to go.

Otherwise?  Still married and mothering.

Plan 2... well, I went back and forth on the walking.  I pushed myself to walk the dog far more frequently than I used to... but does that count as good walking?  On one hand, I think no.  But, on the other hand, I have been walking longer walks with her than we used to, and I read somewhere that even an extra five minutes a day adds up over the course of the year.  So, I am going to give that one a VERY qualified success.

Plan 3... Well.  Hmm.  Not so much.

Okay, so thank you, 2011.  Next time... my Plan for 2012.

Rejection is a four letter word

Well, I TOLD myself to be prepared.  Rejection is the way, the truth, and the light.  Just because I got a 66% acceptance rate on the query letter, that didn't mean I was home free, yet.

So, yeah, I am not home free.  Both literary agents didn't feel like my material was a good fit for them.  Keep in mind, they liked the sell I did on the project.  So, the concept appealed to them.  And that is good.  I am pleased that I wrote a good query letter.

But, after reading (or skimming) a plot synopsis and the actual manuscript, they both rejected it as "not quite right for us".  That could mean so many things, in my mind.  And of course, as an actor, I am BRILLIANT at finding all the potential meanings in any simple phrase...

Rejection:
"This isn't quite right for us."
Meanings:
1.  This is a great novel, and while I would totally buy it in the bookstore, unfortunately, this project isn't the kind of project my agency represents-- they are out there, however:  go get 'em!
2.  This is a great novel, and I might buy it in a bookstore, but I am not sure how in the world we would help you sell it.  Since we have to pay our employees, we are gonna pass.
3.  Your concept is good, the writing is good, but I don't really like your characters-- your heroine is kind of unpleasant.
4.  Your concept is good, but your material is too grim for women's literature, too girly for mainstream, and plus you use too many adverbs.
5.  Your concept is good, but your writing isn't there-- we only represent literary projects, and should this publish, it would be a paperback on a rack, next to lesbian nurse novels.
6.  Your concept is good, but your project still has a lot of work to go-- try using more chapters, for instance, and maybe explain your world better... like before the 4th chapter.
7.  Your concept is good, but your writing sucks.
8.  Your concept is good, but your writing really, really sucks.
9.  Your query letter piqued my interest, but wow, it really didn't describe your book very well.  Who wrote the query letter?
10.  Abandon hope, ye hopeless stay-at-home mother.  I am sending out the word right now on you...

Well, back to square one.  I tell you, sending the first query letter out was difficult.  Getting the first rejection on the query letter was no big deal, since I got two hits on it.  But the first rejection of your material... man, that stings.

Query Letter Out!

Well, it has been forever.  But I have been busy.  At the beginning of November, I sent out my finished (finished!) manuscript to five lovely friends, only one of whom has read any of it before.  They are busily reading, and I have already gotten some feedback!  Woohoo!

So, what the hell have I been doing in the meantime?  (Besides watching soaps, doing my nails, and eating bonbons when the nails are dry? Ha ha.)  I have been working on my query letter.  A query letter is a pitch to editors, agents, publishers, basically asking them to request my manuscript or a sample of it.  I am targeting literary agents right now.  I know from experience that trying to break into a closed world that I don't quite understand is difficult.  Hence, an agent.  I had a film agent, once upon a time, and she got me auditions I wouldn't have gotten otherwise.  Yes, assuming I get a literary agent, they will get 15% of whatever I earn, but it will be worth it.

Today, I sent out three query letters.  I have been working like a dog.... well, not like my dog, she just mostly lays around and sleeps.  But I have been working hard to perfect my query letter, even sending it to my writing coach several times for comments and suggestions.  It is my first impression, after all!  He gave me the seal of approval on Friday.  I am scared like you wouldn't believe, but the hardest one to send was the first one.  I am doing it via email (I LOVE when businesses are green!).  We will see what happens.  I fully expect some rejection, but I knew the first step would be the hardest.  I did pick three agencies who seem to represent similar types of works, I think.

I am crossing my fingers and toes and intestines.  (The latter is in knots!)

A zombie interlude from a zombie pervert

This will be quick.  I need to get back to the writing.  I have just over 30 pages to read aloud, and then I... gulp... will be sending it out to five folks for peer review.  I have consulted with my writing guru, and we compiled a short list of questions to help guide the reading.  I am scared shitless, lemme tell ya...

...which is why I so valued the zombie interlude yesterday.

Here is some quick background.  I am not a stupid person.  I may be impulsive sometimes, and incapable of making decisions at other times, but I am not stupid.  I will admit to willful ignorance on some issues.  This stems from a complete hopelessness regarding the human race.  Really.  I actually had high hopes for H1N1.  When I try to keep up with current events, the weight of my hopelessness crushes me.  And I don't honestly believe there is much to be done about changing the world that would not involve wholesale slaughter.  And, since I kinda have this thing about personally causing violence...  You see my problem?

Hence, my unending fascination with the zombie apocalypse.  How cool would it be to actually have CAUSE to take a machete to, oh, I don't know, Zombie Newt Gingrich?  Or Zombie Sarah Palin?  (She might be kept in a cage just for personal amusement-- who else could possibly have an increase in intelligence upon becoming a zombie?)

This is my profile picture on Faceborg.  Pretty, no?

So here's the story.  Yesterday, I re-posted a FB status from a friend who supports the OWS movement.  It was about the right to assemble.  A couple of friends got into a friendly debate about local ordinances versus the Bill of Rights.  Good stuff, good reading.  None of it was much of a surprise to me, but I came too late to the discussion to participate.  So, rather than saying something mind-numbingly boring like:  "Great discussion guys!  Thanks for keeping it civil and informative.  I certainly hope that this free exchange of ideas will help mankind somehow.  I kinda doubt it, but thank you for keeping hope alive."

Instead, I said:  "You guys are hawt."

Those of you who know me are not surprised.

A private message soon arrived in my FB inbox, and a marvelous exchange of zombified double entendre followed:


FRIEND:  You're pretty hawt yourself, my zombie queen. I'd eat your brains out any day... Oh my. That came out awkwardly. Ah well :)
ME: ROFLMAO!!! You are too awesome!
FRIEND:  I have it from several authorities on the topic that my skills are indeed awesome...
ME:  Oh, really? How intriguing? Would those skills involve slaying zombies or being the zombie? 'Cause it could go either way...
FRIEND:  I like it both ways... Though slaying zombies is my favorite part. I like the way they quiver at the final stroke.
ME:  Damn. Yeah, I so cannot top that comment. 


Anyhow.  It was a great laugh.  I am still giggling.  I hope you are smiling rather than thinking I am some kind of zombie pervert.  'Cause I SO am not... not really.

The inability to focus

I should be writing.  The Boy has been in school for over two weeks now.  The Husband, although home sick, is upstairs.  I have a new phone, but I figured it out.  The dishwasher is empty.  The library books are read.  The dog isn't bugging me-- she is sprawled out on the floor, not even snoring.  The weather is kinda dreary-- not enticing me to go outside and weed at all.  The house, although in clear need of the vacuum, is not terrible, and there is no one coming to visit any time soon.

So why am I blogging instead of tearing into the book?  The book is done.  Yeah, I have lots of things I can keep working on.  But, I could edit until the end of the world.  I just need to send it out to the people who have agreed to read it.

I am feeling unfocused, kinda blurry even.  I cannot keep from daydreaming.  I have no real desire to do anything.  I am not depressed-- I know what that is.  I am just going through the motions right now.  Part of me knows I need to recharge my batteries.  I have failed MISERABLY at Plan 3-- the whole taking time for me thing.  And this last two months have been terrible for that.  The OAP festival, the wedding, the houseguests, the illnesses, the Husband being gone for ten days and now ill for the third week running.  I am getting to take two days in October for myself, but not until the fourth weekend of October.

People can live for like six minutes without oxygen.  A day with no water.  A week with no sleep.  A month with no food.

How long can a person live without a recharge?  My guess is a long time.  But is it really living, or is it just living?

Irony

I vowed here to give up acting, right? I read it here. And here. I shared how suddenly I got some offers. Granted, they were for unpaid work. But, still, there they were. But that was gonna be it, right?

And then I checked my email that afternoon.... "Blah blah blah. Hey, will you be one of the actors in the new Christmas Follies?"

And then this week. "Hi, I own a murder mystery company,and would like to bring you on board, if you are interested."

So, here, I publicly declare: I no longer want a million dollars. Nope. I will give up my dream of a million dollars.

Oh, wait. That doesn't work. I have to reluctantly give up something that I care about, like acting, in hopes that the itch of something new, like writing, will be scratched. Remember what this blog is about, remember? "Not Doing It"

I really enjoy writing, and feel great satisfaction when I am writing. I feel this low grade urge ALL THE PHUCKING TIME to dive back into The General's Heir and finish that mutherphucker. I also have this new writing idea about zombies. I know, old hat now, but the itch doesn't care. This idea is simmering just like The General's Heir did. How I want to dig in...

And yet, acting calls, if you can call the clamoring a 'call'. More like a brick of noise to the side of the head. I won't do the follies, I think. One, I don't really want to, even if I love the producer. Two, really, if I am going to get pulled out of my writing from now on, it DAMN well better be for a paycheck. I am a mercenary, if nothing else. Or maybe a whore? Ha! I can see it now....

ME: Sorry, honey, no sex tonight-- I have to write.

HIM: Write? But I just put on the camo briefs you like!

ME: Think of this as my job. Just like the acting gigs.

HIM: Nope.

ME: What?

HIM: You are gonna have to spell it out for me. If I'm not getting any tonight, you have to explain.

ME: Okay, so, when I am sitting at the computer from 8-12 tonight, I am writing my book.

HIM: I thought you were finished with it!

ME: You are right. I am trying to finish the edits!

HIM: How is this like the acting gigs? I haven't seen you depositing any checks.

ME: Think about it like the rehearsals for the acting gigs. The paycheck just comes a little later.

HIM: I can buy that, I guess. But what is your time worth?

ME: Huh?

HIM: So, you have an acting gig. How much do you get paid?

ME: A hundred, I think, usually.

HIM: Huh. And how long are you gone when doing the acting gig?

ME: Oh, the usual? Two hours for the actual gig, but add another two for travel. So, four hours?

Him: So, you get twenty-five an hour for your time. Is that right?

ME: ...Well, I guess... when you put it like that...

HIM: And that doesn't include the rehearsal time, does it?

ME: ...Not as such...

HIM: 'Cause, hell, I have a twenty in my wallet, and we can be done in half an hour.

ME: ...Uh...

HIM: And, I will throw in a big O for you! You cannot get that kind of satisfaction from your paid gigs!

ME: ...But I am an Artist!

HIM: Artists gotta eat. Or, well, you know what I mean.

ME: But-

HIM: And you won't have to travel any farther than upstairs. And when we are done, you can go back downstairs and write!

ME: But I have to be in the right frame of mind, in the zone! I cannot just get on the computer and go through the motions, and fake it....

HIM: Uh-huh? What were you about to say?

ME: ...Um, get upstairs. And I will put on the sexy shoes.

(Apologies to the Hubby. He is incredibly supportive. Oh, and Happy Birthday to me. I am officially old now.)

Nut up or Shut up

I have been writing every day for the past week. Classes are over, I am free of the arts council stuff, and my two current directing projects are soooo much less consuming than my class projects. I think I can actually see me finishing the edits this week or next.

But, 'finishing' the book is just one more step. I have a shortlist of folks to read the book (I am aiming for mid-August, my friends), and then I'll get to do another round of edits, I suspect. I am hoping it is mostly small stuff-- clarification and continuity details, and grammar/spelling issues. I am HOPING that by the time the Boy begins school in September, I will be working on the soul-killing part-- the research on publishers and agents, the solicitations, and, of course, the rejections.

Frankly, I am looking forward to that part. Once the research is completed, and I start sending stuff out, I can jump back into working on Book 2, which now has a title!! I wrote my "Long Term Story Arc" (code for very loose outline) for the five novels. Book 2 will need a LOT of work now-- some things have changed in Book 1 since I split the two, so there are some slight alterations to characters, relationships, and also some BIG shifts for characters, plot, and relationships... It will be fun, I think.

But, now for the hard choice. A show that I have ALWAYS wanted to do is going up in October. I actually auditioned for a different company's production of this show about a year ago, but they couldn't get the men they needed (ha!). I was preparing to think about auditioning for this one, and then I stopped myself. If I do that show, it would seriously cut into my ability to work on my writing....

So, I am not doing it. And, I decided that I won't be acting until I at LEAST get Book 1 out the door. And that is that. One of the things from the March writing conference I attended in March, I keep on a sticky note on my computer monitor. I can see it right now. It says, "Make this a priority or don't."

I am not giving up acting. I love acting. My abilities as an actor are part of what make my characters the way they are. However, I began writing Book 1 on December 31, 2007. In the immortal words of Tallahassee (one of my favorite films Zombieland), I need to either "nut up, or shut up."

So, I am nutting up. No more acting, no more arts council, no additional volunteering opportunities, no more art projects....

Nut up or Shut up.

Anger

The end of the school year approaches. The Boy will be home, and then I will be teaching over the summer. No more regular writing schedule.

I am terrified. I get seriously cranky when I have an appointment that interrupts my writing schedule. I don't like the routine breaking down. And the routine is going to be GONE for three months.

I want to write. I find myself secretly hoping my classes don't make, so I can just write while the Boy is off attending the summer camps I signed him up for. I entertained a thought recently about ditching the classes altogether. I am pleased as punch to be around my family, friends, hell, even walking the dog... but I would rather be writing.

And that is kinda why the blog has been neglected recently.

Sorry-- blogging cannot compete with the book. I am over halfway through my revisions. I feel the final draft coming closer. I don't know if I can get it done before the end of this month. Argh.

Progress

First thing, dear Readers. Many of you have complained about the comment verification thing. I will attempt to dislodge it. I did add an easy feature, kinda like 'liking' on Faceborg.

Well. I did it. I sent my resignation letter. Even that made me anxious. I cannot wait 'til June 13. I believe I made a good decision, but I cannot help but worry about it. What can I say? I am a worrier.

The title of this post is 'Progress'. I believe I am making progress toward Plan 1: "Figure out what you are NOT going to do, make it happen, and move on."

-I have put my acting on hold for now. I can come back to it someday, but now is my time.

-I have set an end date for my arts volunteering. I may continue to serve, but not on the board.

And, on the positive side of my plan, I have settled into a nice writing place. I have been hard at work editing, simmering ideas, and strengthening my work. I have written a short play, a few short stories, and keep on working on the novel. Additionally, I have attended a writing workshop, and am part of a newly formed writing group. We just had our first meeting on Friday, and I got some good feedback.

I will admit, I am a little worried about this summer. The Boy is done with school at the end of May, and that means my 7.5 hours writing a week will be gone. I am scheduled to teach 5 weeks this summer, and during that time, I will make little or no progress on my novel. Before the end of June, I need to re-write a short play, and create a new melodrama... from scratch. Writing it will be... but not what I want to be doing. I am torn, frankly. I want to teach this summer-- it is my best earning period-- but I also kinda find myself hoping that maybe one class won't make.

Which brings me back to the last outside activity that steals my time and mental energies. Teaching. I love the teaching-- it keeps me in the theatre world, and challenges me. But, one of the pearls of wisdom I gathered from my writing workshop was this: Make writing a priority or don't.

Should I jettison EVERYTHING to give this my hardest effort? It would not be a bad thing to get this finally off my plate, and see if it is worth my time. Hell, if I could sell it in the next year, it would certainly come at a good time. My husband and I just agreed to rent our house for one more year, and that would get the Boy through his last year of preschool. If the book sold well enough, it could help us afford to buy what we are holding out for: a modest home on 10+ acres. (10, so the Husband can hunt, and I can garden.) It would be nice to be able to buy a new car (or two) since our cars are both approaching fifteen years...

I will have to think on it. In the meantime, I need to work on the 'move on' part of shedding the arts council. I woke up at 2AM this morning, and didn't go back to sleep until after 5AM.

Move on.

Hi. My name is General Madera.

I started writing the short story/ prologue. It could be its own novel. It could be. But, I am working to keep it manageable. Rather, I plan to mercilessly slash it down after I have it all done. It is around ten pages right now. I like editing down. I think this will be interesting. It is fun tweaking words, compressing information, and leaving what is important.

I am learning a lot of things about the world, and what happened. I actually had to take the time to write down a timeline of events. This involved flipping back and forth through a lot of material. It was worth it. I suspect the timeline for this world will become ever more detailed.

Oh, I didn't mention the really interesting part of this story. It is written in first person.... from General Madera's perspective. I started writing it in omniscient third person. Something was bothering me about it, though. It was reading as a really dry summary, in my opinion. I needed to spice it up, give it some personality. And the idea suddenly hit me. We have not met General Madera EVER. We only hear what other people think or say about him.

I rewrote it all. I am excited about this. But it made me realize something about my writing. I rarely use first person. Really. I cannot remember anything I have written in first person. I must have written in first person as part of a class, or something. I use first person in poetry, when I decide to make my sorry attempts. Rather, when I made my sorry attempts. I don't write poetry anymore. I don't really even like to read it.

Sidetrack. So anyway, I have a ten page short story written from General Madera's perspective, and we finally hear some firm information about what happened to the world, how he rose to power, and (drum roll) the Chihuahua rebellion. I am in middle of it right now.

I cannot wait to find out what happens.

OMG

I think I just finished it. Now to finish the editing, and then the peer review begins.

I just finished it.

Writing and Sick

I didn't write today.

I did write for hours on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. It made me happy! It also created this weird alternate state of being, in which I kinda blinked when reality intruded.... like eating, or letting the dog out, or speaking to the Husband or the Boy. I may have been in the room with them, but I really was in the 30th year after the Apocalypse, somewhere in present day Kansas.

I stopped writing at a really exciting place yesterday. I am about to write a new scene into the first book, one that will finally create the climax I've been missing since I split the original work into two. I had to do some reading (and rereading) to find my zone (where I can effortlessly write that world instead of struggle to write the world), but I did, and got myself set up!

So, why did I stop? Well, I had to eat, and interact with the Husband and Boy... but mostly, because I knew what happened next. I had written my "one true sentence" and therefore could stop. (I am a devotee of Hemingway. Sorry.)

But today? I am sick. The scene is simmering, which is a great place for it to be, but it will have to simmer for at least another 24 hours... and maybe until Wednesday morning.

Elevator Speech

So, I have attended several talks given by David Hazard. (OMG, look what I just did, I did a link!!!)

...

So, I have attended several talks given by David Hazard. Besides being a damn good motivator, he also gives you lots of ideas about what to do with your work. One of his suggestions, when you are trying to get someone to pay attention to your novel/book/article/etc, is to have an elevator speech ready. Think of it this way: you get into an elevator with the publisher of your dreams, and you've got 'til the tenth floor to sell your book!

I have a meeting with David next week. It was supposed to be this week, but... well, he and I agreed that it is a post-modern short story, how we kept NOT meeting this week. Anyway, I have been working on my elevator speech. Tell me what you think. Whether you have read my novel(s) or not, I am interested to hear your thoughts. And if it sucks, has bad verb tenses, or whatever, just tell me. Only my friends are reading this... so far.

Elevator Speech for The General’s Heir- Book 1

Thirty years after the apocalypse, the rulers of two rival territories agree to become allies, and propose to seal the treaty with a possible marriage between their children. Fleeing from her father’s expectations and rule, Elena Madera is charmed by Grant Stone, and enters willingly into an arranged marriage in a foreign land. However, the cultural differences between the two territories become increasingly apparent as Elena struggles to win the leadership roles for which she was groomed, and she builds a dangerous alliance with the mysterious Chief of Information, Scott Walters. Using diplomacy, intrigue, and a few threats, Elena manages to succeed, and questions only one action she has taken: did she choose a worthy mate?

...I await your input.