A Writer's Contract

I just spent four days at a writing workshop.  I have lauded David Hazard before, but I am gonna do it again.  It was amazing, and I learned so much, and this is the SECOND time I took it!  If you write, or think you might have a story to tell, go look him up.

There is a lot to talk about, but I am only going to address the Writer's Contract right now.

If I am going to acquire Space to Write...
WHERE:  at the desk
WHAT needs to be kept out of that space:  the email, the phone, the bills, non-writing work
WHO are the potential intrusions:  the family, the dog, work and volunteer associates  (I can avoid them all by just not answering the phone!)
WHEN will I write?:

• Primary time- Monday-Fridays, while the Boy is at school (8:45-11:15), as soon as I walk the dog.
• Secondary time- After Dean goes to bed.  If I CANNOT do the primary for whatever reason (meetings, doctor's appointments, etc.), I WILL use this time, even if it only for an hour or so.
• How I will make this happen:  I will get up at 5AM (when the Husband leaves) to do the other stuff:  the email, blogging, work and volunteer stuff, even the bills.  I will do this upstairs on the laptop, and put all the applicable materials in one binder with pockets, along with my thumb drive, so it is all contained and cannot take over.  So, I will have that stuff done before the Boy even wakes up, wanting to have his Mummy Cuddle Time.

WHAT are my objectives for my Writing Time?:

• Sunday evenings/Monday mornings, I will set the objectives for the week.  One of my goals for today, for example, is to create a task list based on my to-be-completed storyboard, with the end of May being my deadline.
• Minimum-- is there research I can do?  Writing prompts I can create or find?  Storyboard tweaking?
• Medium-- Am I working on incidents and scenes?  Am I expanding or focusing on characters?
• Maximum-- Did I meet all the goals and then some?  Am I moving forward?

It doesn't look much like a contract, but it has solidified some things for me. I felt a lot of pressure, because I had no time allotted for the non-writing stuff, but I still needed to do it!  It would make it tough for me to get into my zone...And the evening is becoming less of a productive time for me.  Getting old, I guess!


Now, how is this morning thing working out?  Ha!  I am bleary eyed, and every third word contains a typo.  My sense of humor is still in bed, apparently.  However, I have just checked off the second item from my early morning Task List. Tomorrow's task list will include coffee...

The beginning of a beautiful relationship

     Let's talk, 2012.  See, I made an arrangement with 2011.  I told 2011 what I wanted, and I thought 2011 and I would have a nice time together.  I didn't realize that my expectations, while communicated clearly, were not clear expectations.  It was a "Hey, let's have a nice date" versus "Hey, I want a fancy dinner with good wine, and then a movie with Daniel Craig or Hugh Jackman."
      I realize that this is a failure on my part.  I didn't specify what it was that I actually wanted.  This should not be a surprise to me... what with the whole "Not Doing It" being the name of the blog.  2011 could not read my mind.  How could 2011 know what I wanted if I wasn't even able to communicate that to myself?  And yet... did I not mock 2011 on Facebook? I did, I am sorry to say.  No one deserves that, especially when it is my fault.
     So, 2012, I am going to try to communicate my clear expectations.  I want you to know what will make me happy.  Some of the items on my list may strike you as unrealistic, or silly, but if you know, at least you might have a better idea of the kind of thing that might make me happy.

What I Want Out Of 2012

1. A book deal.  It doesn't have to be Stephanie Meyers size... but I would love at least to be able to buy a new car, which leads me to...
2. A new car.  Both of the cars in my household are almost three times as old as my son.  And he's about to start kindergarten.
3. To see the new James Bond film in the movie theater.
4. To make exercise part of almost every day-- strength training, walking, hitting balls at the driving range... whatever it takes.  Finishing 2011 with physical therapy kinda blew.
5. A spine.  I rarely speak up for myself, and when I do, I inevitably cave.  
6. A date, once a month, when I go out, looking lovely, wearing a pair of killer heels, and forget that I am the mother of a 5 year old.  Don't care if it is with my girlfriends, or a big group of people, or just me and a lucky guy.
7. To stop apologizing for who I am.  It is one thing to apologize for a specific action, something I said or did.  It is  a whole other thing to apologize for not being the way that someone else wants me to be, or for not thinking what someone else wants me to think.  I am valid, and so is my point of view.
8. To write five days a week.

     So, 2012.  How does that sound?  I hope I have given you a much better idea of my expectations than I did 2011.  I suspect 2011 might have actually been less of a disappointment if I had been as clear with him as I am being with you.  Let's work on it, shall we?

Hugs and kisses,

Zombie Grrrl  

2011: A Year in Review

..." I see this as a place to journal, a place to jump up and down, a place to vomit, a place to celebrate, a place to collaborate, and maybe, a place to make my decisions final."

Here I am, almost a year later.  The quote above is from my very first blog post.  I would say, based on that quote, that I was very successful...except that the blog was supposed to be about my three goals for 2011...

Plan for 2011

1. Figure out what you are NOT going to do, make it happen, and move on.

2. Walk three times a week.

3. Schedule two recharge breaks a month.

Anyway.  Plan 1... I figured out a lot of things... Meaning, I quit a number of things.  Arts council...  gone!  Acting... retired, mostly.  Art model... not pursuing it.  Teaching... winding down.  Volunteer... still going, but will be finished in June.  Writing?

That is what I decided I AM going to do.  Write.  I love it, and I am good at it.  I spent the last of my mad money to attend a hardcore writing workshop (4 days, all day).  I wrote and submitted a play for a playwrighting competition.  I have worked hard for most of the year, and have revised "The General's Heir" into a much tighter and stronger novel.  I not only finished it (mostly), but have three new readers in the process now of giving me feedback.  There is small stuff to fix, but they are easy fixes.  Additionally, I wrote my query letter, and sent it out to six literary agents.  Two asked to see my work, and ultimately passed, two sent form rejections, one sent a personally worded rejection, and I am waiting to hear back from the sixth.  Finally, I have begun to work with David Hazard, an amazing writing coach, who believes I have talent, and is pushing me in directions I need to go.

Otherwise?  Still married and mothering.

Plan 2... well, I went back and forth on the walking.  I pushed myself to walk the dog far more frequently than I used to... but does that count as good walking?  On one hand, I think no.  But, on the other hand, I have been walking longer walks with her than we used to, and I read somewhere that even an extra five minutes a day adds up over the course of the year.  So, I am going to give that one a VERY qualified success.

Plan 3... Well.  Hmm.  Not so much.

Okay, so thank you, 2011.  Next time... my Plan for 2012.

Don't Let The Door Hit You In The Ass On Your Way Out

I am not sure if I have an appropriate mindset for blogging, truth be told...  I have been treating this as an online journal, which works for me.  I have told almost no one about this blog.  And I get kinda cranky when unknowns stumble across it.  Mostly because they comment by leaving SPAM.

SPAM sucks.  So, SPAMMERS... this is for you... (she says with an evil smile):

Dear Jay /Mike /Other "casual" name,


Yeah, I kinda noticed that no one reads my blog.  Do you really think I ought to use the service you used to increase your hits?  'Cause, wow, wouldn't it be awesome to get a dozen or more hits in a day!  Zowee...  Where have I been going wrong?  


Oh wait.  I know.


I don't promote my blog.  Anywhere.  Not on Faceborg, not to my friends.  Hell, most people don't even know I have a blog.  And, see, you just MIGHT have noticed that it is kinda hard to comment on my blog.  I set it up that way...so not just any jackass can leave comments, or, for example, SPAM on my on-line journal.


Huh.  Do you kinda see where this is going?  Yeah.  I don't give a shit if you think I can increase my traffic.


I haven't exactly laid out the welcome mat, have I?


Thanks ever so!


Yours truly,
Zombie Grrrl

January Report Card

What have I accomplished in the last month, looking at my 3 Plans...

Plan 1: Okay, I think I am making some progress.

Writing- I have gotten into a routine and am writing pretty regularly... accounting for the freaking snow days. I have signed up for a writing workshop (attending in March). I also met with a nice gentleman who is going to read the first 3 chapters and (hopefully) give me suggestions, and has given me some good ideas about where to go, and what to look at in my work.

Acting- nothing... but I wrote a blog entry about it, kinda spelling out what is going on in my head. I turned down the opportunity to act in a college reunion show, since I had scheduling conflicts and also since I live in freaking Virginia, now. I think, sad as it makes me, this may just have to go on the back burner, in favor of other projects and roles (ha ha) that are further along. Just for now.

Board/ Arts Volunteer- hmmm. I wrote a blog entry about this too. I think I will be taking a LOA until March (at least, once I finish the darn minutes and get them sent off). I think it would do me good. I do need to figure out why I feel compelled to finish out my term, if it makes me miserable. Am I finishing for a good reason, or just so I can tell myself I didn't quit? 'Cause, it kinda seems like to me, that no matter how I protest, I have mentally decided to quit. So, if I am NOT going to do it, then I need to make it happen, and move on...

Art Model- I have a 4 week gig starting tomorrow.... A Tuesday night gig in February.... (smacking head)

Theatre teacher/director- Okay, lots of planning was done this last month! I am excited. I have two classes to teach this spring, and two camps over the summer. Oh, and I have to write a brand new, LoCo based melodrama. The theme will be cows! I cannot wait to share the dialogue... once I write it.

Plan 2: Okay, this one is easy. I have been going to the gym and using the treadmill, twice a week... except last week, when we had the freaking ThunderSnow. However, I think that is okay, since I shoveled approximately seven thousand, four hundred and twenty two pounds of snow. In addition to the visits to the gym, I have been dragging the Boy and the Dog out for walks every day the weather has not been unreasonable. I feel good about counting this one as successful. I have some concerns about February... February being the traditional month for the weather to go to hell in hand basket. Snowpocalypse of 2010, anyone?

Plan 3: Well, I scheduled one recharge break in January. Considering that is up 100% over previous months... I am pleased. Additionally, I took advantage of opportunities to do play dates, freeing me of the Little Prince, so I had time to write. Not precisely what I had planned, but hell, I am reasonably pleased with my progress here.

So. Report Card grade for January 2011? I am gonna give myself a B. Maybe a B-. Excellent progress on Plan 2, good start on Plans 1 and 3, but lots of room to improve.

Yay, me.

A blog? (the obligatory boring introduction)

Confession: I have no idea how to keep or maintain a blog. I follow a few blogs, mostly friends who are more interesting than Facebook would have you believe. I do not know how to design. Or what Html means. I am not certain at this point if I know how to post a link, or a picture. Do I think my blog looks pretty BORING right now? (yup.)

HOWEVER. I am going on a journey this year. I have three GOALS. I say goals, rather than New Year's Resolutions, because... well, I am not sure why, but GOAL seems more weighty.

(oh, crap, I just tried to cut and paste into this, and it scared me. I will just retype it...)

Plan for 2011

1. Figure out what you are NOT going to do, make it happen, and move on.

2. Walk three times a week.

3. Schedule two recharge breaks a month.

(hey, I figured it out... sorta. I had to fiddle around with the document... yeah, I typed out my New Year's PLAN... because it is a PLAN and not GOALS apparently.)

The second is fairly standard, I am sure. Get in shape, blah blah blah. The third needs no explanation save that I have a 4 year old. An approximate translation could read: introduce the concept of Daddy/Boy dates on the weekends...

I am sure you noticed that the first one is stated negatively. There is a reason for that. I am an actor. I am a teacher. A writer, a director, art model, wife, board member, friend, daughter, arts volunteer, oh... and a stay-at-home mother. Whatever that means.

And I am 35. I am noticing the signs of aging. Worried? Not really. As a non-ingenue look in the field of acting, I welcome finally looking old enough to play the good roles that are now available... except I am not pursuing my acting. I am not really pursuing anything. I am 35, and I am trying to do so many things that I am doing none of them really well. Except motherhood. And that ain't gonna last.

(oh for the love of pete... I have this $@#&% margin floating around, and I cannot figure it out!!!)

Why add another project to the mess? I am figuring out what I am NOT gonna do, remember? I am on a journey in 2011 to figure out which of those roles I am going to jettison. (SPOILER ALERT: I will not be dropping off the Boy at the orphanage, or divorcing my husband.) I see this as a place to journal, a place to jump up and down, a place to vomit, a place to celebrate, a place to collaborate, and maybe, a place to make my decisions final.

So, why read this? The journey might be interesting. Oh, and I am kind of funny, and irreverent. Sometimes people don't get my sense of humor. I can post it, and laugh about it... to the sounds of chirping, and it won't freaking matter, since I have NO idea how to promote this, other than inviting friends to read, which I won't, since I hate promoting myself... which is also a reason I have a slow acting career. I think I mentioned that.

I may also be posting writing samples. I wrote a novel... well, actually, two. It will be a small series, eventually. If I can finish editing and begin attempts at publishing.

All done with my first blog post. If anyone can give me some *@&$# pointers on format, I will cheerfully accept them.