Be Careful What You Wish For

So, with a month from the end of this year, I have been thinking about my 2012 Goals. Take a look at them here.   Here's where we stand...

1. Book Deal: not yet (but read on)
2. New car: very likely (read on, I told you...)
3. Skyfall: OH. YES. (wiping drool off chin)
4. Exercise: not every day, but most days, and I've lost weight this year.
5. Spine: Stronger, maybe mild scoliosis (figuratively, new readers)
6. Dates: we've been pretty good, actually, in the latter half of this year.  Nights out are happening!
7. No apologies:  kinda like the spine--that is a work in progress.  Apologizing is part of me, but I am starting to accept who I am, and forcing others to when I am right.
8. Writing: well, that one has been a weird one.  I was writing every day for 2+ hours in the spring.  Got shot to shit during the summer (move, summer class, grandmother's funeral).  Fall started okay, but the Boy is in afternoon kindergarten, which is making it more challenging to actually get my writing time in.  Plus, the current home's desk set up is less than inviting.  I may start doing more on the laptop (shudder).

So, that is where I am.  Pretty good.  Now... about that book deal.  I finished Book 1: "The General's Heir", and passed it along to peer readers.  Got some great feedback... and decided that I had to rewrite the whole thing.  I needed to focus on my heroine.  So, rewrote the book into first person.  She's telling her story.  I expanded scenes, trimmed others, and finally told the story of what happened in Tejhaus before and after the rebellion, and how she came to decide to go to Stone Country.  The book is so much stronger.

I finished the rewrites at the end of August, and then started editing.  I finished the week of Thanksgiving, and promptly emailed David Hazard for a recommendation for a professional editor: I am funny with hyphens and ellipses...as my regular readers (ha!) know.  We set up a meeting to discuss finally working together (since I have money coming from my grandmother).

And then Wednesday struck.  I had a car accident.  My lovely little Honda Civic has been a loyal member of my family, but she's on life support, and her age ain't making it look good.  A 1997 coupe with 170K miles... if they don't declare it totaled, it will be a miracle.  I love that car.  It was the first car I picked out and bought.  She was overpriced, and used.  But I paid her off slowly (with the Husband paying as well after we got married), and she's been faithful and dependable.

So, yesterday, instead of focusing on the fact that my body had had a shock, and I needed to just read, I spent most of the day beating myself up for the accident.  Sure, I wanted a new car, but not til the money was there.  She was supposed to outlast the Saturn.  I went from quiet mourning to anger and back.

And then, late last night, I remembered my 2012 Goals.  I really had met some of them.  Maybe...just maybe, the stars are aligned, and I will meet the first goal.  On Monday, I plunge into revising my query letter and creating my spreadsheet for literary agents to hit.  When the editing is done, I am unstoppable.

I will it to be so.

2011: A Year in Review

..." I see this as a place to journal, a place to jump up and down, a place to vomit, a place to celebrate, a place to collaborate, and maybe, a place to make my decisions final."

Here I am, almost a year later.  The quote above is from my very first blog post.  I would say, based on that quote, that I was very successful...except that the blog was supposed to be about my three goals for 2011...

Plan for 2011

1. Figure out what you are NOT going to do, make it happen, and move on.

2. Walk three times a week.

3. Schedule two recharge breaks a month.

Anyway.  Plan 1... I figured out a lot of things... Meaning, I quit a number of things.  Arts council...  gone!  Acting... retired, mostly.  Art model... not pursuing it.  Teaching... winding down.  Volunteer... still going, but will be finished in June.  Writing?

That is what I decided I AM going to do.  Write.  I love it, and I am good at it.  I spent the last of my mad money to attend a hardcore writing workshop (4 days, all day).  I wrote and submitted a play for a playwrighting competition.  I have worked hard for most of the year, and have revised "The General's Heir" into a much tighter and stronger novel.  I not only finished it (mostly), but have three new readers in the process now of giving me feedback.  There is small stuff to fix, but they are easy fixes.  Additionally, I wrote my query letter, and sent it out to six literary agents.  Two asked to see my work, and ultimately passed, two sent form rejections, one sent a personally worded rejection, and I am waiting to hear back from the sixth.  Finally, I have begun to work with David Hazard, an amazing writing coach, who believes I have talent, and is pushing me in directions I need to go.

Otherwise?  Still married and mothering.

Plan 2... well, I went back and forth on the walking.  I pushed myself to walk the dog far more frequently than I used to... but does that count as good walking?  On one hand, I think no.  But, on the other hand, I have been walking longer walks with her than we used to, and I read somewhere that even an extra five minutes a day adds up over the course of the year.  So, I am going to give that one a VERY qualified success.

Plan 3... Well.  Hmm.  Not so much.

Okay, so thank you, 2011.  Next time... my Plan for 2012.

Rejection is a four letter word

Well, I TOLD myself to be prepared.  Rejection is the way, the truth, and the light.  Just because I got a 66% acceptance rate on the query letter, that didn't mean I was home free, yet.

So, yeah, I am not home free.  Both literary agents didn't feel like my material was a good fit for them.  Keep in mind, they liked the sell I did on the project.  So, the concept appealed to them.  And that is good.  I am pleased that I wrote a good query letter.

But, after reading (or skimming) a plot synopsis and the actual manuscript, they both rejected it as "not quite right for us".  That could mean so many things, in my mind.  And of course, as an actor, I am BRILLIANT at finding all the potential meanings in any simple phrase...

Rejection:
"This isn't quite right for us."
Meanings:
1.  This is a great novel, and while I would totally buy it in the bookstore, unfortunately, this project isn't the kind of project my agency represents-- they are out there, however:  go get 'em!
2.  This is a great novel, and I might buy it in a bookstore, but I am not sure how in the world we would help you sell it.  Since we have to pay our employees, we are gonna pass.
3.  Your concept is good, the writing is good, but I don't really like your characters-- your heroine is kind of unpleasant.
4.  Your concept is good, but your material is too grim for women's literature, too girly for mainstream, and plus you use too many adverbs.
5.  Your concept is good, but your writing isn't there-- we only represent literary projects, and should this publish, it would be a paperback on a rack, next to lesbian nurse novels.
6.  Your concept is good, but your project still has a lot of work to go-- try using more chapters, for instance, and maybe explain your world better... like before the 4th chapter.
7.  Your concept is good, but your writing sucks.
8.  Your concept is good, but your writing really, really sucks.
9.  Your query letter piqued my interest, but wow, it really didn't describe your book very well.  Who wrote the query letter?
10.  Abandon hope, ye hopeless stay-at-home mother.  I am sending out the word right now on you...

Well, back to square one.  I tell you, sending the first query letter out was difficult.  Getting the first rejection on the query letter was no big deal, since I got two hits on it.  But the first rejection of your material... man, that stings.

Query Letter Out!

Well, it has been forever.  But I have been busy.  At the beginning of November, I sent out my finished (finished!) manuscript to five lovely friends, only one of whom has read any of it before.  They are busily reading, and I have already gotten some feedback!  Woohoo!

So, what the hell have I been doing in the meantime?  (Besides watching soaps, doing my nails, and eating bonbons when the nails are dry? Ha ha.)  I have been working on my query letter.  A query letter is a pitch to editors, agents, publishers, basically asking them to request my manuscript or a sample of it.  I am targeting literary agents right now.  I know from experience that trying to break into a closed world that I don't quite understand is difficult.  Hence, an agent.  I had a film agent, once upon a time, and she got me auditions I wouldn't have gotten otherwise.  Yes, assuming I get a literary agent, they will get 15% of whatever I earn, but it will be worth it.

Today, I sent out three query letters.  I have been working like a dog.... well, not like my dog, she just mostly lays around and sleeps.  But I have been working hard to perfect my query letter, even sending it to my writing coach several times for comments and suggestions.  It is my first impression, after all!  He gave me the seal of approval on Friday.  I am scared like you wouldn't believe, but the hardest one to send was the first one.  I am doing it via email (I LOVE when businesses are green!).  We will see what happens.  I fully expect some rejection, but I knew the first step would be the hardest.  I did pick three agencies who seem to represent similar types of works, I think.

I am crossing my fingers and toes and intestines.  (The latter is in knots!)