2011: A Year in Review

..." I see this as a place to journal, a place to jump up and down, a place to vomit, a place to celebrate, a place to collaborate, and maybe, a place to make my decisions final."

Here I am, almost a year later.  The quote above is from my very first blog post.  I would say, based on that quote, that I was very successful...except that the blog was supposed to be about my three goals for 2011...

Plan for 2011

1. Figure out what you are NOT going to do, make it happen, and move on.

2. Walk three times a week.

3. Schedule two recharge breaks a month.

Anyway.  Plan 1... I figured out a lot of things... Meaning, I quit a number of things.  Arts council...  gone!  Acting... retired, mostly.  Art model... not pursuing it.  Teaching... winding down.  Volunteer... still going, but will be finished in June.  Writing?

That is what I decided I AM going to do.  Write.  I love it, and I am good at it.  I spent the last of my mad money to attend a hardcore writing workshop (4 days, all day).  I wrote and submitted a play for a playwrighting competition.  I have worked hard for most of the year, and have revised "The General's Heir" into a much tighter and stronger novel.  I not only finished it (mostly), but have three new readers in the process now of giving me feedback.  There is small stuff to fix, but they are easy fixes.  Additionally, I wrote my query letter, and sent it out to six literary agents.  Two asked to see my work, and ultimately passed, two sent form rejections, one sent a personally worded rejection, and I am waiting to hear back from the sixth.  Finally, I have begun to work with David Hazard, an amazing writing coach, who believes I have talent, and is pushing me in directions I need to go.

Otherwise?  Still married and mothering.

Plan 2... well, I went back and forth on the walking.  I pushed myself to walk the dog far more frequently than I used to... but does that count as good walking?  On one hand, I think no.  But, on the other hand, I have been walking longer walks with her than we used to, and I read somewhere that even an extra five minutes a day adds up over the course of the year.  So, I am going to give that one a VERY qualified success.

Plan 3... Well.  Hmm.  Not so much.

Okay, so thank you, 2011.  Next time... my Plan for 2012.

Bad, Naughty February!

February wasn't a good month for my Plan, apparently.

I didn't walk regularly. Now, there were some weather issues, and health issues, but still. I took no recharge breaks either. And, I have gone no further in figuring out what I am NOT going to do than setting a date for either resigning from my board or going inactive (June!).

However, I am pleased to report that I did finally finish the body of the book, and even added a prologue/short story. I don't know if the short story will be able to stand alone, but I am pondering it. Is there editing to do? You bet. I am also having to figure out some formatting issues. I plan to read the whole thing aloud in my final edit, before I get copies to my peer reviewers. I think I have them all picked out.

Additionally, I have a trip planned to Texas for the middle of the month. I need to see my grandmother. It has been four years since I last saw her, and I haven't visited my folks in about as long... I will also be seeing some high school and college classmates during the trip, which will be cool. It will also be a bit weird, methinks.

Let's see, anything else to report. Oh, yes, the 10-minutes one act play festival. I was asked by my boss if I would submit a script for this festival, and of course I said yes. I found out yesterday that submitting a script would mean not acting in any of the plays; and that it all has to be 'family friendly'... whatever the hell that means.

Rant time! Yay!!! I am so FREAKING sick of 'family friendly' theatre in this county. WHY does everything have to be family geared? Are adults second class citizens? I like dark humor, and language, and 'adult situations'... but can I see that on a stage in this county? NOT BLOODY LIKELY.... And it is not just the theatres.... it is everywhere... I cannot TELL you how many times I have gone to my favorite bar, after nine PM, and found CHILDREN there with their parents!!!!

I have reviewed grants for arts funding for the last five years. There are a handful of theatre companies that apply for funding.... and in their FREAKING mission statements they state 'wholesome, family friendly entertainment.' Guess how many list 'morally suspect, adult themed entertainment'.... NONE.

Either I am so far out the norm that I am definitely going to hell, or there is an UNTAPPED market in this county. I hosted a play reading (Anti-Valentine's Day was the theme), and it was an afternoon of Christopher Durang one-acts. We all had fun.

Maybe I should just create my own theatre company, and put in the mission statement: To foster an irreverent, mildly salacious culture and entertain grownups.

Okay, rant mostly done. Now I need to look up a website for creating voodoo dolls before writing my 'family friendly' script.... with zombies....

January Report Card

What have I accomplished in the last month, looking at my 3 Plans...

Plan 1: Okay, I think I am making some progress.

Writing- I have gotten into a routine and am writing pretty regularly... accounting for the freaking snow days. I have signed up for a writing workshop (attending in March). I also met with a nice gentleman who is going to read the first 3 chapters and (hopefully) give me suggestions, and has given me some good ideas about where to go, and what to look at in my work.

Acting- nothing... but I wrote a blog entry about it, kinda spelling out what is going on in my head. I turned down the opportunity to act in a college reunion show, since I had scheduling conflicts and also since I live in freaking Virginia, now. I think, sad as it makes me, this may just have to go on the back burner, in favor of other projects and roles (ha ha) that are further along. Just for now.

Board/ Arts Volunteer- hmmm. I wrote a blog entry about this too. I think I will be taking a LOA until March (at least, once I finish the darn minutes and get them sent off). I think it would do me good. I do need to figure out why I feel compelled to finish out my term, if it makes me miserable. Am I finishing for a good reason, or just so I can tell myself I didn't quit? 'Cause, it kinda seems like to me, that no matter how I protest, I have mentally decided to quit. So, if I am NOT going to do it, then I need to make it happen, and move on...

Art Model- I have a 4 week gig starting tomorrow.... A Tuesday night gig in February.... (smacking head)

Theatre teacher/director- Okay, lots of planning was done this last month! I am excited. I have two classes to teach this spring, and two camps over the summer. Oh, and I have to write a brand new, LoCo based melodrama. The theme will be cows! I cannot wait to share the dialogue... once I write it.

Plan 2: Okay, this one is easy. I have been going to the gym and using the treadmill, twice a week... except last week, when we had the freaking ThunderSnow. However, I think that is okay, since I shoveled approximately seven thousand, four hundred and twenty two pounds of snow. In addition to the visits to the gym, I have been dragging the Boy and the Dog out for walks every day the weather has not been unreasonable. I feel good about counting this one as successful. I have some concerns about February... February being the traditional month for the weather to go to hell in hand basket. Snowpocalypse of 2010, anyone?

Plan 3: Well, I scheduled one recharge break in January. Considering that is up 100% over previous months... I am pleased. Additionally, I took advantage of opportunities to do play dates, freeing me of the Little Prince, so I had time to write. Not precisely what I had planned, but hell, I am reasonably pleased with my progress here.

So. Report Card grade for January 2011? I am gonna give myself a B. Maybe a B-. Excellent progress on Plan 2, good start on Plans 1 and 3, but lots of room to improve.

Yay, me.

I took off my pants in middle of the Museum today

I have been miserably cold this winter. As in, I keep sneaking upstairs and upping the thermostat. And wearing layers. Lots and lots of layers.

Today, the Boy decided that we definitely needed to go the museum today. So, although I cannot beat this #&%$@!! head cold, I thought, hey, it is indoors. I could get some walking in, and he'd be entertained. All good.

I wore my new navy blue sweater dress. With a long sleeved t-shirt underneath. And skinny jeans. With blue tights underneath the jeans. Nice and cozy and warm, and very very cute.

We got there. The Boy was in heaven. And I was uncomfortable. At first, I thought, I am just tired. The cold is kicking my ass, and I have been up late writing too many nights. I came realize that I was not cozy warm anymore. I was pretty darn warm.

I lasted until we finished with the space hanger. We went to the restroom on the second floor. The Boy is such a big boy, he wanted his own stall, and didn't need help. Yippee. I wriggled the t-shirt out from under the sweater. I thought, wow, much better! We continued the adventure.

And I realized that I was still very warm. Like... too warm. By this time we were far away from the restrooms, almost at the spiral staircase. I thought, hell, you have tights on, just slip the jeans off. I looked around, and realized that, although no one was near us, we were on the second floor catwalk, and all eight people there would not only get to see the Concorde, but France as well... much more than they had been expecting. So, okay... wait for the elevator... the glass elevator. Never mind...

We got to the ground level. As I considered taking the Boy all the way back to the restroom, he announced that he needed a break. We sat in the chairs by the bright yellow helicopter. I looked around. No one was in sight. I stood up, reached up under my cute navy sweater dress, and started yanking my jeans down.

I had them safely stowed in the bottom of the stroller before we saw anyone.

Later, I wondered about the security cameras. Surely they exist. And, even more belatedly, I wondered why the hell I didn't just take the sweater dress off.

Oh. And check this out. Guffaw.

On the other hat

So, one of my many hats is theatre teacher. I am a certified teacher in secondary theatre and speech. I taught for 3 years at a high school in Texas, before leaving to go pursue my acting career (and fleeing my psychotic coworker in the theatre department). I did a national tour with a very respectable theatre company, and did television extra work, and got a start on my Actors Equity membership. Once I arrived here in Virginia, I substitute taught while applying for teaching jobs. I did an interview. Unfortunately, I laughed when they told me the theatre budget. I thought they were joking. They weren't.

Now, I teach theatre classes at an arts center, with the parks and recreation system. I built an amazing program starting in 2002, until the birth of the Boy. I took a few years off from teaching... and the program died. It kinda made me feel like a failure-- a program that cannot survive without its creator is a personality driven program, in my book. Oh well. I did go back, and have built it again. The scale is much smaller, and so are the number of hours I teach. Before the Boy, I would teach 8 courses over the three month session. Now, I teach one or two only.

Childcare is expensive.

Plus, I am doing lots of other things too, remember... like writing a book, acting part-time, art modeling, volunteering, and doing that whole wife/mother thing...

Anyway, I have a great summer planned. A high school melodrama class, and a touring class for elementary and middle school kids. I mention it now because I have to have all the promotional materials done long before summer... like this week. No problem? Yeah. I am good.

And I love to teach. I particularly love not teaching in the school system. I like that the kids who show up get so much more than playing theatre games and learning tongue twisters. We do the fun stuff, and then we do the real stuff-- rehearsing and performing a show. Some of my classes are more advanced than others. My touring class, if I may be permitted to brag, is fucking awesome. I rehearse the kids for 2 weeks, we perform a few times, and then hit the road. They learn load in, adapting to different spaces, load out, traveling. And they are pros by the end.

Yeah. I love this gig. I love teaching kids theatre. I have an awesome boss-- the BEST boss in the whole world. He supports me. I would not be able to be as successful as I am without him behind me. I am lucky. I am thankful. I better stop procrastinating and finish the stuff I owe him.

On the other hat (the writer one), today, I wrote down lots of notes about the scenes I have to write. I am excited to start tomorrow... and glad I took the time to write down my ideas for once. True, I remember many... but I know I have lost more than a few.

OH! And Plan 2 news! I have developed a routine! Twice a week, I am going with a girlfriend/neighbor to the rec center. The walking is going nicely, and my knee didn't stiffen up much tonight at all! Woohoo! On the downside, all this crappy 'wintery precipitation' the last few days has meant that I have not really been able to go out and walk the Dog. But, I am sticking to the Plan!

(And I really enjoyed the Plan 3 event on Sunday. Boy and Husband went to the Natural History Museum... and I stayed home and wrote!)

Walking and Theatre

Well, today was the first day on the treadmill. As expected, my right knee stiffened up. But, I took it easy, and don't see that doing this is gonna be a problem. I have been really good the past week and a half about at least getting out with the Boy and the Dog, so I should be on track for good walking soon. I have missed walking. The weather has been a bitch in the last few months, but using the gym at the local rec center seems to be a good solution. When the weather warms, and the days are longer, I can get back into the neighborhood, and hit the trail again. Yippee. (Plan 2, going well!!)

Now, theatre. I have been fortunate for the last several years, to be part of a traveling murder mystery theatre company. There were 5 or 6 shows in repertory. A client would book the show, the producer, Laurie Dunlap would then book the necessary actors. We would show up 2 hours before the show, load in, do the show, load out, get a check, and drive home. This was the perfect gig for me- a stay at home mum who really didn't feel able to take off long periods of time for rehearsals, etc. Not lazy, just focused on the Boy.

Well, the perfect gig died. Rather, Laurie contracted a horrible blood cancer, and passed away in less than 6 months. There was confusion, I guess, about how to keep the company alive, and it is gone. I valued this gig-- it kept my skills up, it got me out of the house, I got paid, and I enjoyed almost all of the company members. And, most importantly, it allowed me to continue being a working actor.

Last gig was in August. I miss it. I have grieved. I am trying to figure out if I want to get back into it all-- headshots, auditions, driving forever... I love acting. I love auditioning. But it was so nice, so convenient, not having to do all the looking for a job.

A friend (who does audition, and drives forever, and gets paid) has been encouraging me to get out and just do it again. Get a new headshot done, update the resume, and at least do the local cattle call auditions. He actually has a gig in mind for me. (I wish HE was the casting director!!) If only I could just go audition for it.... But in this area, you cannot just go audition for a show. No, no, you have to be invited to audition... and in order to get that invite, you have to be seen...

It all makes me wonder... am I really wanting to be a working actor? I have lots of excuses and reasons why not. I am clearly not ready to just throw in the towel, and STOP acting. I need to either do the work: get a headshot done, update the resume, and get to the cattle call... or I just need to let it go for now.

Not deciding tonight. There are other factors to consider in the equation--an invitation to join a similar company that is forming; and a long-simmering idea of forming my own theatre company.

But enough for now. I am currently an out-of-work actor. It sucks. But at least I am walking again.

A blog? (the obligatory boring introduction)

Confession: I have no idea how to keep or maintain a blog. I follow a few blogs, mostly friends who are more interesting than Facebook would have you believe. I do not know how to design. Or what Html means. I am not certain at this point if I know how to post a link, or a picture. Do I think my blog looks pretty BORING right now? (yup.)

HOWEVER. I am going on a journey this year. I have three GOALS. I say goals, rather than New Year's Resolutions, because... well, I am not sure why, but GOAL seems more weighty.

(oh, crap, I just tried to cut and paste into this, and it scared me. I will just retype it...)

Plan for 2011

1. Figure out what you are NOT going to do, make it happen, and move on.

2. Walk three times a week.

3. Schedule two recharge breaks a month.

(hey, I figured it out... sorta. I had to fiddle around with the document... yeah, I typed out my New Year's PLAN... because it is a PLAN and not GOALS apparently.)

The second is fairly standard, I am sure. Get in shape, blah blah blah. The third needs no explanation save that I have a 4 year old. An approximate translation could read: introduce the concept of Daddy/Boy dates on the weekends...

I am sure you noticed that the first one is stated negatively. There is a reason for that. I am an actor. I am a teacher. A writer, a director, art model, wife, board member, friend, daughter, arts volunteer, oh... and a stay-at-home mother. Whatever that means.

And I am 35. I am noticing the signs of aging. Worried? Not really. As a non-ingenue look in the field of acting, I welcome finally looking old enough to play the good roles that are now available... except I am not pursuing my acting. I am not really pursuing anything. I am 35, and I am trying to do so many things that I am doing none of them really well. Except motherhood. And that ain't gonna last.

(oh for the love of pete... I have this $@#&% margin floating around, and I cannot figure it out!!!)

Why add another project to the mess? I am figuring out what I am NOT gonna do, remember? I am on a journey in 2011 to figure out which of those roles I am going to jettison. (SPOILER ALERT: I will not be dropping off the Boy at the orphanage, or divorcing my husband.) I see this as a place to journal, a place to jump up and down, a place to vomit, a place to celebrate, a place to collaborate, and maybe, a place to make my decisions final.

So, why read this? The journey might be interesting. Oh, and I am kind of funny, and irreverent. Sometimes people don't get my sense of humor. I can post it, and laugh about it... to the sounds of chirping, and it won't freaking matter, since I have NO idea how to promote this, other than inviting friends to read, which I won't, since I hate promoting myself... which is also a reason I have a slow acting career. I think I mentioned that.

I may also be posting writing samples. I wrote a novel... well, actually, two. It will be a small series, eventually. If I can finish editing and begin attempts at publishing.

All done with my first blog post. If anyone can give me some *@&$# pointers on format, I will cheerfully accept them.